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Slowing Down for Lasting Change: The Power of Mindfulness in Self-Care and Counseling

Lyanne Westie

When I talk with clients about slowing down, getting curious, and noticing what’s present, it’s common to see an immediate reaction of frustration or even agitation. By the time clients come to counseling, they often feel an urgent desire for change. So, when I introduce the idea that slowing down may be an effective way to support change, it's understandable they might resist. Slowing down can feel like “going nowhere” or “getting nothing done.”


Many of us are conditioned to believe change requires pushing harder, moving faster, and actively solving problems. There’s truth in that, but it’s not the whole picture. Slowing down may initially feel counterproductive, even threatening to our goals. Yet, in my work and life, I’ve seen powerful change come from embracing mindfulness in the present moment.


In this blog, I’ll explore this idea in two parts. First, we’ll examine the benefits of slowing down for self-care, mental clarity, and nervous system regulation. Then, we’ll look deeper at how slowing down allows us to observe automatic responses, giving us greater control over the changes we want to create now rather than replaying old patterns.


The Story of the Two Woodcutters

Two woodcutters once held a competition to see who could chop the most wood in a day. Both started at full speed, but the first woodcutter took a 15-minute break every hour, while the second continued relentlessly, convinced he would win by not “wasting time” on breaks. When the day ended, the first woodcutter had chopped more wood. Surprised, the second asked how that was possible. The first woodcutter replied, “Every time I stopped, I was sharpening my axe.” This story illustrates the wisdom of pacing ourselves and the importance of balancing hard work with the time needed to maintain and sharpen the tools that help us achieve our goals.


The Benefits of “Sharpening the Axe” (Self-Care, Mindfulness, and Nervous System Regulation)

Pausing to “sharpen our axe” is essential not only in physical tasks but also in mental and emotional life. Self-care practices—mindfulness, nutrition, exercise, and connection with others—help regulate our nervous systems, making us more resilient in the face of challenges. When we check in with ourselves, we create space for clarity and emotional regulation. In my work with clients, I see how nervous system support allows for calm, focused progress, helping us take meaningful steps forward. Mindfulness and self-care teach us to be with what is, grounding us and preparing us for true change.


How Mindfulness and Self-Care Support This Process

Mindfulness isn’t about inaction; it’s about building the capacity for change by first understanding ourselves. Through breathwork, movement, and intentional rest, we support our ability to stay present, creating an environment to engage deeper layers of experience. Slowing down is not “doing nothing” but preparing ourselves to approach life with clarity and effectiveness.


Self-care and mindfulness support this process by “sharpening the axe” supporting our nervous system and equipping us to notice subtle cues revealing our inner states. Instead of bypassing discomfort, we approach it openly, knowing that these practices help us navigate even the most challenging moments. This foundation supports us in moving forward and meeting the deeper wisdom of self that comes with mindful presence.


Slowing Down to See Clearly (Understanding Automatic Responses)

Beyond “sharpening the axe” for productivity, slowing down allows us to observe and understand what’s happening beneath the surface. This step involves noticing, with compassion, where we may be on autopilot or acting out old patterns that no longer serve us. Our evolved nervous systems prioritize safety over accuracy, sometimes leading us to respond with reactions that don’t align with present circumstances.


With tools like Parts Therapy, Somatic therapy, CBT, and DBT, we can start recognizing automatic responses across mental, emotional, and physical layers. By slowing down, we can observe these cues, understanding how they shape our experience. This intentional slowing down is not a hindrance to progress but a step toward self-awareness and lasting change.














Why Mindful Presence Enables True Change

Slowing down allows us to connect with our inner dynamics. We might feel conflicted—wanting change yet resisting it, feeling one way but acting another. Often, we experience inner conflicts that can go unnoticed in a fast-paced state. Our internal mechanisms may even suppress these cues, keeping us from noticing old pains that may have once been overwhelming.


While this system enables us to move forward when lacking resources to address deeper pains, it can sometimes prevent the very changes we long for. Mindful presence lets us observe these signals with curiosity, not judgment. It grants permission to feel conflict, recognize hesitation, and understand our inner responses. We may find ourselves clinging to outdated beliefs that helped us in the past but now hold us back. Being present with these experiences, even if uncomfortable, opens the way for change that’s impactful and sustainable.


The Role of Coaching and Counseling in Mindfully Slowing Down in Session

No matter how long someone has practiced mindfulness, blind spots can still exist. Our habits and patterns often operate so quickly and automatically that they bypass our conscious awareness. Mindfulness in counseling or coaching adds a layer of curiosity, safety, and support. This relationship provides a non-judgmental, attentive presence that allows clients to explore their automatic ways of functioning and assess whether these patterns still align with the changes they seek.


Counselors and coaches help clients recognize subtle cues they might overlook by paying close attention to moments when they may skip over or avoid certain feelings, sensations, or thoughts. By inviting clients to pause and explore these moments, space is created for them to see their own responses more clearly and with greater compassion. Through this work, mindfulness becomes not just a personal practice but a shared experience, enabling clients to feel seen, understood, and encouraged to explore their lives with new depth and clarity.


If you are looking for personalized support to explore mindful change, we invite you to contact us about our counseling and coaching services. You can reach out through our Contact Form or by booking a 15-minute Discovery Call. 

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